10-04-2018, 04:58 PM
THE BrideGLOOM. Episode 11-20
Mr Ambrose: so what would you like us to do? Stay home and cook or eat out?
Chioma: let’s go to Food and Fun. I haven’t been there in a long while.
Mr Ambrose: anything else you’ll like to do? Like seeing a movie afterwards?
Chioma: ermmm, we can go swimming.
(The couple got to Food and Fun and were given a table for two beside another couple, who happened to be Nina.
She was on a first date with someone she met over the internet. Mr Ambrose did not recognise her as he barely saw her face the day they visited his office.
The couple ordered their preferred meals and as they spoke and ate, Nina listened and recorded their conversations!)
Mr Ambrose: so tell me, how do you think we are doing in terms of our family life?
Chioma: I think we are doing great!
Mr Ambrose: do you think we need to increase the budget since we are going to have Kate as a live-in Nanny, from next month?
Chioma: not really. Kate is not so much of a food person. Let’s leave it the way it is at the moment but if after next month, I think it wasn’t sufficient , then I’ll let you know.
Mr Ambrose: what about security? You know it broke my heart when Tatiana spoke about Mr thief the other day.
She still has memories of that robbery. My poor daughter! I want to make sure she never witnesses such horror again including Shasha. No child deserves to witness that.
Chioma: that’s what happens when you have a very intelligent child. But I think Patrick is doing a good job, we don’t need more security. And dont forget, except the Lord keeps a city, the watchmen watch in vain! God watches over us.
Mr Ambrose: Amen!! do you have any other concerns at all?
Chioma: concerns? No. But I have something to tell you. I’m not sure if it’s the best news since Shasha is only 10 months…
Mr Ambrose: are you pregnant??
Chioma: Yes, I am. I found out two days ago.
Mr Ambrose: (gives her a hug) of course it is a great news!!! That’s another blessing on the way for us! Congratulations to us!!!
Shasha will be absolutely fine. Kate being with us will make it even easier!!
I need to call my parents and tell them and then go to the village and tell your parents!
Chioma: look at you! Hahahaha! It’s not like it’s my first pregnancy! This is my third missionary journey, babe!
Mr Ambrose: the excitement is no different! I’m going to be a dad!!!
Chioma: what! You became a dad some four and a half odd years ago!
Mr Ambrose: every time seems like the first time!
Yipeeee!
Chioma: you are creating a scene. Look how everyone is looking and smiling at us.
Mr Ambrose: like I care! Oh what an evening!
Chioma: I need to gradually start weaning Shasha.
Mr Ambrose: you know it’s okay to breastfeed until you have your next one. Forget all those rubbish we were fed years ago. So don’t let that bother you.
Chioma: sweetie, remember you promised to help my old course mate by giving him a job. He has been calling and asking when he can come see you.
Mr Ambrose: Ermm, I am still reviewing a few things in that department. I’ll get back to you on that.
Chioma: thank you. He really needs the help.
Mr Ambrose: shall we just talk about us today? We can always talk about other people some other day.
Chioma: I’m sorry
Mr Ambrose: ?
**************************************************
Nina: (????) hello, Charlotte can you hear me!!
Charlotte????) hi babe! How was the date?
Nina: mtcheew! Man’s not hot! Anyway that’s not why I’m calling. Is Deric around?
Charlotte: no. Actually he’s been in the village. His mum is diabetic and her condition has deteriorated badly. He went to be with her just in case.
Nina: my own mother is dead anyway. But I wish him the best oh!
Hey listen up! Mr Ambrose and his wife were seated right behind us at Food and Fun! They were there playing happy family and I was literally burning inside!
But the good news is that she announced to him that she is pregnant! And I think Deric might be responsible. What do you think?
Charlotte: really? He probably is! Randy He-goat!
Nina: let’s tell her husband!
Charlotte: how?
Nina: I found the wife on Facebook. Her Facebook name is Chiomabeautz. Her profile picture is her wedding picture with her husband. This is what we are going to do.
I will create a fake account with her name and profile picture and you will create a fake account with Deric’s name and profile picture. Then, I’ll use that fake account to send you a message that the numerous sex we had resulted in pregnancy and you will reply me asking me to hang it on my husband.
We will now print the messages and send it to his office with the picture of them hugging!
Charlotte: how do we send it?
Nina: by post! Don’t be a dummy! Obviously we can’t go back there.
Charlotte: girl you bad! But this is a good idea! Since she wants to wreck my home, she will be paid in her own coin!
To be continued
EPISPDE 12
Caller: (????) Hello, am I on to Charlotte?
Charlotte: Yes, who’s calling?
Caller: Hello, I am Jez from Night Buzz night club.
Charlotte: oh hi!
Caller: are you free to talk?
Charlotte: Yes, I am.
Caller: well, congratulation on your new position as a pole dancer with Night Buzz!
Charlotte: did I get the job!!!!
Caller: oh Yes, you did!!!
Charlotte: yesssssss!?
Caller: are you ready for an immediate start?
Charlotte: Sure!
Caller: great! We’ve seen videos of you dancing and we think you are absolutely amazing!
we’ve got these guys coming over from France tomorrow and they have requested for an hour performance. Are you up for it?
Charlotte: what time?
Caller: the dancing kicks off at 12 midnight but you should be there at 10 to practice with our instructor and to choose a comfortable outfit for yourself. We will pay you in dollars. Sounds good?
Charlotte: how much?
Caller: 500 USD!
Charlotte: That’s too small for an hour
Caller: 5500?
Charlotte: okay, I’ll do the job.
Caller: excellent! Once again, congratulations!
Charlotte: thank you.
Caller: see you tomorrow.
Charlotte: ?????????????
************************************************
Receptionist: good morning, sir.
Mr Ambrose: morning.
Receptionist: you’ve got a letter, sir.
Mr Ambrose: who from?
Receptionist: not sure. It just says private and confidential on the envelope.
Mr Ambrose: leave it on the table. Thanks.
(Mr Ambrose put aside what he was doing, opened the envelope and began to read the letter….)
“Hello, Mr trust!
It will be unfair not to congratulate you
on the news of the baby on the way
I’m sure you must be over the moon!
But, it is unfortunate that the child
Is not yours. The child is Deric’s .
While you were out of the country,
Deric was performing your conjugal
Duties for you. What a helpful guy!
Well, that’s what you get when you
Marry a young and beautiful woman
Please find attached some Facebook
Conversations between your wife and Deric
You may also want to have a look at your
Wife’s bank transactions. Find out the
Receipent of three hundred thousand naira
Last month.
I’m sorry to have ruined your day.
Please do not send her home o!
Who knows, she might repent and become faithful.
Yours faithfully
Mrs busybody
Hahahaha”
(Mr Ambrose couldn’t believe his eyes. He read the printed messages over and over again to ensure he was awake and not dreaming. He pinched himself a couple of times as well. Then he logged into his Wife’s online banking and confirmed that his wife did in fact, send the money. Totally devastated, he picked up his mobile phone and car keys and went to his receptionist)
Mr Ambrose: Emily, if anyone comes looking for me, tell them I am not in for the rest of the week. Mr Ronald can take messages for me.
Receptionist: sir, is everything okay?
Mr Ambrose: no. Can you make anything okay?????
Receptionist: sorry, sir
Mr Ambrose: idiot!
(Mr Ambrose jumped into his car and zoomed off. He got home and rang the doorbell and Chioma opened the door for him..)
Chioma: sweetheart! What’s the matter? Why are you home this early?
Mr Ambrose: everything is fine. Out of my way!
Tatiana: daddy!!!!!!??
Mr Ambrose: Kate!
Kate: yes, sir.
Mr Ambrose: take the kids to Lots Of Ice Cream, now! I transferred ten thousand naira into your account for that.
Kate: but sir, I took them to Lots Of Ice Cream yesterday and they are only allowed to have ice cream only once a week.
Mr Ambrose: I’m sure you are aware that these kids are mine and not yours!
Kate: sorry, sir. Tatiana come on! Let’s go out. Shasha, let get you into your buggy, let’s go out.
Chioma: excuse me!!! I am not letting my children go out in shorts. They’ll be bitten by mosquitoes! Whatever you’ve got to say or do can wait for them to get properly dressed! My children come first! What madness!
Tatiana: daddy, grandma says we should not let mosquitoes eat us.
Mr Ambrose: Kate, be fast about that and take them Out!
Kate: yes sir! (Hurridly dressed the girls and left with them)
Mr Ambrose: (bangs the door behind them)
Chioma: what is the matter??? What’s wrong with you? Did you get robbed? You couldn’t even talk to your girls! I hope you will have answers for Tatiana when she starts asking.
Mr Ambrose: (audibly gnashing his teeth, biting his lips and shedding endless tears)
Chioma: hmmmm! Is mama alright?
Mr Ambrose: Chioma, I vowed to love you, to protect and to provide for you to the best of my ability. What part of the vow have I broken?
Chioma: none! None at all. If anything, you’ve done more than you promised and I am so greatful to God for giving me such a wonderful husband.
Mr Ambrose: why didn’t you tell me I wasn’t satisfying you sexually? I would have done something about it!
Chioma: what is the meaning of that? What are you talking about???
Mr Ambrose: then why did you do it???
Chioma: why did I do What??? I’m getting really impatient with this whole drama!
Mr Ambrose: Chioma, you cheated on me, got pregnant by another man and told me we are having a baby????
Chioma: is this supposed to be an expensive stupid joke????
Mr Ambrose: don’t you dare pretend one more second to me! Go in there, pack your things and leave my house before I do something silly.
Chioma: please do something silly but first explain to me what you mean! I slept with another man? When? Where?. Which man?
Mr Ambrose: you threw dust into my eyes. I believed he was nothing more than an old school mate. I believed you, Chioma because I trusted you. If I didn’t see the messages between you, I wouldn’t have believed it. You even gave him my hard earned money! Before I shut my eyes and open them, be gone with that bastard you are carrying.
Chioma: sweetheart, I can explain the money but I.. I.. i never slept with him nor any other man! I swear to God!????
Mr Ambrose: Chioma I have pictures! Leave my house now!! If you spend one more minute here, I’ll shoot you and shoot myself! Leave now!!!
Chioma: oh! Okay, I’ll…I’ll lea—ve. Please don’t shoot yourself. You can shoot me so that the kids will have someone to look after them. Please I’m leaving but promise me you won’t hurt yourself please. For the sake of our kids. Promise me, please
Mr Ambrose: ?????????
Chioma: (gives him a hug) please, promise me you’ll be fine, please?????
Mr Ambrosewith his eyes tightly shut) I’ll be fine and I’ll look after my children. Just go away from me. Go away from us!
…to be continued
THE brideGLOOM. Episode 13
Mr Adrian: good morning, Charlotte. You didn’t tell me you do pole dancing.
Charlotte:? how did you know!
Mr Adrian: my friends came into Nigeria last night and asked me to come hang out with them, but because I had a lot doing, I couldn’t make it. But they did send me some clips of your performance. I must say you are very Good!
Charlotte: those are your friends? Oh my God!
I’m so embarrassed.
Mr Adrian: come on! That’s like a second job. So long as it doesn’t affect your role here, it is perfectly okay.
I’ll give you ten out of ten. Amazing flexibility, I must say!
Charlotte: Thank you.
Mr Adrian: you know watching pole dancing is my favourite thing in the world, right?
Charlotte: really? Was that why you paid for one the day we went out?
Mr Adrian: I do that all the time. Whenever I travel to any city I spend a lot of money on that. That is the only way I unwind.
I’ll be going to Barbados next week, would you like to come with me then? I’ll pay for everything. The flight ticket, hotel, food and also pay you three hundred pound per hour of performance.
Charlotte: but I have used up all my holiday.
Mr Adrian: don’t worry, I’ll give you some hours off and you still get paid for it.
Charlotte: awwww! Thank you!
Mr Adrian: sorry, Charlotte, but I don’t like when women tell me awwww. I feel patronised. If you can, try not to use it on me. Thanks.
Charlotte: oh okay! I’m sorry
Mr Adrian: thanks. Get started with the documents, please. Thank you.
Charlotte: right away.?
(Deric is still in his village tending to his poor mother whose health has continued to deteriorate and Charlotte rarely calls to check up on him.
She had wanted to travel without telling Deric but she changed her mind and decided to tell him, so she got home, sorted out her passport and started ringing him…)
Charlotte?????)
Deric: hello, Charlotte
Charlotte: hello, how is mama today?
Deric: so this is the first time you are calling me in two weeks, right?
Charlotte: I keep trying to call but obviously the network in your village is unstable!
Deric: well, mama is not getting any better.
Charlotte: she will be fine. I’m calling to tell you you that I will be going to China next week.
Deric: you are going to China to do What?
Charlotte: my company is sending me there.
Deric: you are going to China Charlotte? Your mother in law has been critically ill for two months now, you have never bothered to come down and see her for once. You barely ask after her but you are going to China. You are not even sure that you would meet her when you come back.
This is a woman who stood by your side when you were in debt in London. She cleared your debt, came to London to see you and brought you food items that lasted you a whole year. A woman who treats you like her own…
Charlotte: oh please save me the blackmail! Do you know why I’m going to China?? I have been asked to do a training that would raise my monthly salary by eighty percent!
I only agreed to do that because of mama’s health. What she needs right now is not that pity party you and your elder brother are organising everywhere on social media!
She need good medical care abroad!
As soon as I come back from China, I’ll take mama to London to get her treated! So save me the whole bull crap! I’ve heard enough of it from you!
Deric: hmmm. But you never told me you had such plans. Anyways, thank you. I will do anything to save my mother and if I had money, we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now because she would have been in a London hospital recovering. Thanks again, Charlotte.
Charlotte: I’ve paid in some money into your account, buy her whatever she needs until I come back. Tell her I said she will be fine.
Bye(???)
*********************************************
Madam Nkechi: are you telling me the whole truth, Chioma??
Chioma: mummy, I swear by daddy’s grave. Since I married Ambrose, I’ve never had anything to do with any other man?
Why would I? I love my husband to bits, I love my children and I value my home???
I have never given it a thought.
Ambrose gives i and the kids everything we need. Everything, mama!
Madam Nkechi: so where did he get the pictures you spoke about, then?
Chioma: mama, I wish I know. I am just so confused and heartbroken. I’ve only just started to wean Shasha and she cries a lot at night. God, please vindicate me!???????
Madam Nkechi: it’s alright. Stop crying. Their nanny will take care of them. Do you have any friends in Abuja?
Chioma: no, mummy. Ambrose is the only friend I have. Whenever I tell you that I am out, it’s with him. I don’t even know anyone in our estate. The only person I speak to sometimes is Kate, my children’s nanny and she is such a wonderful young woman.
Madam Nkechi: something is not right somewhere. I and your uncle Emeka will go see Ambrose tomorrow. Stop crying let’s go into the kitchen and make something.
******************************************
Tatiana: daddy, we had too much ice cream and there is a girl that was crying and crying and crying o! I didn’t cry because I am a big girl! Shasha cry small
Mr Ambrose: Shasha cried because she is still a baby. You are a big girl and daddy is proud of you.
Tatiana: Shasha also wee wee on her pant!?
Mr Ambrose: it’s okay, when you were her age, you did same.
Tatiana: yes because I was short then
Mr Ambrose: because you were a baby
Tatiana: where is mummy. Mummy! Mummy!
Mr Ambrose: Tatiana, mummy has gone to see grandma Nkechi.
Tatiana: okay!! When is mummy going to bring a baby from the hospital? She said she will bring another baby very soon
Mr Ambrose: phewww! Mummy, you go and have your shower first, and we can talk about that later, okay?
Tatiana: But when she brings another baby, will she give Shasha back to the hospital? Otherwise there’s gonna be toooooo much babies in this house.
Mr Ambrose: Kate!
Kate: yes, sir. I’ve got Shasha in the shower! I can’t come down!
Mr Ambrose: Jesus Christ save me!
Tatiana: Jesus Christ save me!
Mr Ambrose: Mummy, go and get your story book let me read you a story
Tatiana: okay daddy!!!!!?
Mr Ambrose: no running!
To be continued
THE brideGLOOM. Episode 14
ELDER EMEKA: we have spoken to our daughter and she is still maintaining that she hasn’t slept with any other man.
As much as I understand where you are coming from, because of the pictures, the money and the messages from whatever you young people call it, I am choosing to believe our daughter.
It’s okay if you don’t want her back, we will arrange to return the bride prize. But we would like you to allow her access to her children. She is very distressed that she hasn’t seen them.
MR AMBROSE: Chioma can always come and see the kids. They are not only mine. She can take them out whenever she wants and I don’t want the bride price back.
I wish a day like this never came. We miss her, I miss her. She is my only friend?….. af–ter each tiring day, I….I come home to her. ?
But I can’t bear the sight of her carrying another man’s child’s in my own house. The thought of her in bed with another man is driving me insane????
MADAM NKECHI: it will never be well with whoever is behind this! May nemesis catch up with him or her in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening and at night!???
Two love birds torn apart just like that!
Ambrose, you are like a son to me, you have treated me like a mother and it is sad that I am being forced to choose between you and my daughter who to believe! This is a hard decision but I believe my daughter and I will look after her until she has her baby!
Greet my grand children when they come back! (Starts crying loudly???)
MR AMBROSE: (Amidst tears) mama, if you need anything, please let me know.
MADAM NKECHI: I don’t need anything from You!
************************************************
MR ADRIAN: that was a long flight!
CHARLOTTE: it was, indeed! Why is there only a single bed here? Where am I going to sleep?
MR ADRIAN: Oh! I booked you a different room. Your room is the one next door. Room number 104.
CHARLOTTE: interesting! Have you got the keys?
MR ADRIAN: sure! (Hands her the keys)
CHARLOTTE: so when would you want me to perform for You??
MR ADRIAN: Charlotte, we’ve only just arrived! Why don’t you have a shower, change and we can go have something to eat and maybe a couple of drinks.
As much as I like watching pole dancing, that’s not the main reason why I brought you here.
I noticed you are going through a lot and I wanted you to have a breather. That’s the main reason why I brought you here.
CHARLOTTE: why do you think I am going through a lot?
MR ADRIAN: it’s written all over You, Charlotte! You are clearly stressed. Try to get as much rest as possible within this one week that we are here.
CHARLOTTE: you are right! I am sex starved! My husband hasn’t touched me in the last 4 months! The last time we made love, I literally begged for it???
I don’t wanna keep being like This! I am a woman and I have needs!
MR ADRIAN: (bringing out his clothes from the box and hanging them in the wardrobe) Charlotte, you see, there is more to life than regular sex.
I agree you have such needs, but it only becomes an issues when you focus so much on it. I mean, I have been divorced for 7 years, but I’m still here.
Take your mind off sex and focus on what actually matters.
CHARLOTTE: you mean you have been celibate for 7 years?
MR ADRIAN: ermm, more or less. I’ve had a fling a couple of times but it’s one of those things you do after you’ve had so much to drink and I regretted it.
I don’t need sex. I need love and money. I’ve got them and I am dying a damn happy man!
CHARLOTTE: you’ve got love? What is love without sex?
MR ADRIAN: love is when my 18 year old daughter calls me every morning and tells me she loves me. Love is when she tells me that she is going to become a doctor so that she’ll ensure I get the best medical care when I need one.
Love is having my cigar inbetween my fingers and watching pole dancing.
Love is looking into my bank account and seeing enough dole in there
Love is a glass of red wine at the end of every day. Love is knowing I owe no man. Love is knowing that if i die today, my daughter will be wealthy even if she decides not to work in her entire!
CHARLOTTE: are you a man?
MR ADRIAN: I am a man.
CHARLOTTE: okay! Let me rephrase. Are you medically okay?
MR ADRIAN: my doctor says I am.
CHARLOTTE: okay! I don’t mean medically!
MR ADRIAN: well, you asked if I was medically okay.
CHARLOTTE: do you find me sexually attractive?
MR ADRIAN: yes. But that doesn’t mean I must have sex with you. Imagine if we had sex with every single person we find sexually attractive. It will be a crazy world. Wouldn’t it?
CHARLOTTE: But it is a crazy world already.
MR ADRIAN: maybe. Maybe not.
CHARLOTTE: do you know why I agreed to travel with a man who isn’t my husband?
MR ADRIAN: because you thought I would ask you for sex.
CHARLOTTE: yes? and I also thought I could get some money in exchange for that.
MR ADRIAN: What do you need the money for?
CHARLOTTE: ????
MR ADRIAN: it is fruitless to try to move me with tears. Tears don’t move me. Tell me what you need the money for.
CHARLOTTE: my mother in law is dying of diabetes and we need at least five million naira to take her to the UK for treatment. MY husband is unemployed and I can’t afford it.
MR ADRIAN: I’ll give it to you.
CHARLOTTE: What did you just say??
MR ADRIAN: if that makes you sleep well at night
CHARLOTTE: (kneels down?)
MR ADRIAN: go have a shower let’s go have something to eat. MY stomach is rumbling.
CHARLOTTE: God bless you.
MR ADRIAN: he can give that blessing to your husband. I am a blessed man. Thank you.
Tomorrow, I’ll like to have you perform for me for about an hour.
And don’t worry, you’ll still get your three hundred pounds an hour. Not sure how much that is in Nigerian naira.
CHARLOTTE: What time would you like me to perform Tomorrow?
MR ADRIAN: eleven thirty pm, if that’s okay by you.
CHARLOTTE: sure. Where would you like it. In their club hall?
MR ADRIAN: NO of course that would be me giving them a free service. I paid for it privately. I would like it here in my room
CHARLOTTE: no problems at all. I’ll go to my room now.
MR ADRIAN: I’ll be waiting. Remember, I am hungry.
CHARLOTTE: I know.
To be continued…
THE BrideGLOOM. Episode 15
MADAM NKECHI: where are you getting ready to go?
CHIOMA: I want to go see my children, mama.
MADAM NKECHI: why are you squeezing your face like That? Are you in pains?
CHIOMA: just a little headache.
MADAM NKECHI: I didn’t know you were going to see them today. I had planned to take you to our local health centre to register you for ante-natal.
CHIOMA: tomorrow we can go. I couldn’t sleep last night?. I miss my children.
MADAM NKECHI: I understand, my daughter. Let me get you some paracetamol.
CHIOMA: thanks, mama. Where do I get okada that would take me to town and how much do they charge? I can’t remember the last time I used that mode of transportation. I’m so scared?
MADAM NKECHI: I will call the boy that takes me to the market . He is a very careful okada rider and he will drop you exactly where you will get a bus that stops in front of your husband’s house. It will cost you one thousand five hundred thro and fro.
CHIOMA: oh really? And I only have five hundred naira.
MADAM NKECHI: not to worry. I’ll give you some money so that you can also buy the kids some biscuits. No good going to see them empty handed.
CHIOMA: thank You, mama.
MADAM NKECHI: does Ambrose know that you are coming today?
CHIOMA: Yes, mama. I sent him a text and he said it’s okay.
MADAM NKECHI: of course it’s Okay! Here is three thousand naira, manage it and please make sure those children don’t see you crying. Just be their usual mummy and don’t tell them anything bad about their dad
CHIOMA: I’ll do no such thing. I can’t even get myself to speak ill of Ambrose. He is a good man and I won’t deny it. The way he spoke to me this morning as if everything is fine between us?
I’m just tired of it all. I am!?
MADAM NKECHI: if you continue to cry, that headache is only going to get worse. You must help yourself. I know it’s hard but learn how to cope. I’ll be here for you all the way! I am your mother and my duty of care and love towards you, is a continuing one!
(Prior to the issues between Chioma and Ambrose, Chioma had seen some traditional men’s outfit in a catalogue and asked Patrick if his brother who is a designer could make it for Ambrose as a surprise present.
Patrick told her his brother could make it and Chioma gave her the sum of thirty thousand to buy the fabric and promised to give him the rest on completion.
The outfit has now been completed and Patrick has been asking Ambrose of Chioma. Each time he asks, Ambrose would tell him that Chioma had gone to spend some time with her mother…)
CHIOMA: (knocks on the gate)
PATRICK: who be That!
CHIOMA: it’s me, Patrick
PATRICK: Madam? Madam!!! Madam don come back! Oga! Madam don come back! (Runs to the gate and jumped on her)?️?️?️?️?️
CHIOMA: hahaha! Don’t pull me down, You! I’ve only been away for 3 weeks! You are acting as if I’ve been away for years. How are you, Patrick.!
PATRICK: Madam, welcome o! I happy say you don come back. I don miss you well Well! Na only you dey come out come talk to me every day. That nanny na to dey watch TV she sabi. She no dey talk to anybody and she no dey give me food as you dey do.
I know say I suppose dey buy my own food but you be good woman!
CHIOMA: no worry, I go scold am! She suppose dey give you food.
PATRICK: Chai! Madam I don miss you well Well! Where your bag? And how your mama dey? Oga tell me say she nor well na him make you go dey look after her.
CHIOMA: Yes, she don dey get better but I’m not back yet. I’m just here to see the kids briefly and go back. But I’ll be back soon.
PATRICK: Chai! Madam why not bring your mama here dey look after am the way you been dey do before? I nor like say you no dey for this house! This house nor dey sweet without you. And that thing don ready o!
CHIOMA: awwww! I understand. I’ll be back soon. Tell your brother say make him give me some time and I’ll give you the balance Okay?
PATRICK: Madam, I fit pay and when you come back you pay me back.
CHIOMA: keep your money, dear Patrick
(Chioma got to the door and knocked and Kate opened the door and jumped on her)
KATE: Tatiana! Mummy is here! Good to see you again madam!
CHIOMA: thanks darling. May I come in?
KATE: haba, Madam!!! How can you ask if you could come into your own house!
CHIOMA: thank you, darling.
(Chioma went inside and Mr Ambrose was seated in the sitting room in his pyjamas)
MR AMBROSE: good morning, Chy. How are you?
CHIOMA: I’m fine thanks. You?
MR AMBROSE: yea, I’m good.
CHIOMA: Is it okay to go upstairs and help Kate get the kids ready? I’m taking them out.
MR AMBROSE: of course it is. Why don’t you eat some breakfast first?
CHIOMA: no, I’m good thanks.
(The kids were really excited to see their mum and as usual, Tatiana asked her a million questions in a second, including why she wasn’t wearing any makeup and why she hasn’t brought the baby she promised to bring soon.
After the exhausting session, they all came downstairs and ready to leave, including Kate)
MR AMBROSE: the driver is waiting outside
CHIOMA: oh! You shouldn’t have bothered. We would have gone by public transport
MR AMBROSE: you already know my policy on that. My kids don’t go on public transport. Kate please take the kids to the car. Chioma, can I have a minute with you.
TATIANA: daddy, why do you always like to talk to mummy in private. Every time, Tatiana I need to talk to mummy in private!
MR AMBROSE: because she is my wife.
TATIANA: Okay, daddy.
(Kate went to the car with the kids, leaving just Ambrose and Chioma in the living room)
MR AMBROSE: sit down, please
CHIOMA: (sits down without saying a word)
MR AMBROSE: it’s never be the same without you here. I want you to know that I miss you, the children miss you. I don’t sleep at night, I barely eat. I live my life daily answering Tatiana’s endless questions.
Please give me some time to reconcile with the demons in my head. Will You?
CHIOMA: (amidst tears) can I go now?
MR AMBROSE: one more thing. I’ve replaced the three hundred thousand in your account. Altogether, there is 1.5 million naira in it right now. Here is the card, please take it so you could be taking care of yourself while we work on resolving this.
CHIOMA: thanks, but I don’t need it. My mum is looking after me.?
MR AMBROSE: come on, Chy!!!
CHIOMA: sorry but I have to leave now (Walks out)
(Chioma took the kids to Lots Of Ice Cream. After they’ve had some ice cream, they paid for rides for the kids. As they enjoyed their rides and screamed on top of their voice, Kate noticed how hard Chioma was trying to fight her tears and decided to ask questions)
KATE: Madam, I’m really sorry to ask this question but I can’t help it. Is everything alright between you and oga?
CHIOMA: Kate, everything is not alright at the moment but It will be????
KATE: stop crying, Madam please.
CHIOMA: that’s true. The kids must not see me crying . Does Shasha cry at night?
KATE: a lot. They both sleep with their dad now
CHIOMA: my poor kids. Oh do they?
KATE: Yes. The first night, Shasha Cried from 11pm until morning and oga tied her on his back walking up and down the stairs singing to her. The next morning he took them both to his office and Tatiana saw a bundle of money, seven hundred thousand naira and before her dad could notice what she was doing, she had shredded up to five hundred thousand of it.
He came back looking so depressed.
It hasn’t been easy on him. The other day I met him in the kitchen crying like a baby.
CHIOMA: Kate, my husband is accusing me of sleeping with another man and getting pregnant by him.
KATE: no way!!! What??? But oga trusts you so much! Satan is truly at work but he will never succeed! I will be praying for You, Madam (Starts crying)
CHIOMA: stop crying, Kate. The kids must not know about it. Under any circumstances!
(The kids enjoyed themselves and it was time to go home, Chioma put them in the car and as she was about to get into the car herself, Kate called her apart)
KATE: madam, please take this twenty thousand naira
CHIOMA: oh come on, Kate! Keep your money. And please whenever you cook, take some to Patrick Okay?
KATE: if you don’t take this money from me, as soon as I get to that house, I will pack my things and leave?. I’ll be giving Patrick lunch henceforth.
CHIOMA: (sighs and takes the money) Thanks, darling. Please look after them and never ever leave them. You are their second mum
KATE: I promise.
(Chioma managed to convince the kids that she needs to go look after poorly grandma Nkechi. After yet another questioning session from Tatiana, she agreed to let her go without them.
She got off the car half way and caught a bus back to her mother’s house)
To be continued.
Mr Ambrose: so what would you like us to do? Stay home and cook or eat out?
Chioma: let’s go to Food and Fun. I haven’t been there in a long while.
Mr Ambrose: anything else you’ll like to do? Like seeing a movie afterwards?
Chioma: ermmm, we can go swimming.
(The couple got to Food and Fun and were given a table for two beside another couple, who happened to be Nina.
She was on a first date with someone she met over the internet. Mr Ambrose did not recognise her as he barely saw her face the day they visited his office.
The couple ordered their preferred meals and as they spoke and ate, Nina listened and recorded their conversations!)
Mr Ambrose: so tell me, how do you think we are doing in terms of our family life?
Chioma: I think we are doing great!
Mr Ambrose: do you think we need to increase the budget since we are going to have Kate as a live-in Nanny, from next month?
Chioma: not really. Kate is not so much of a food person. Let’s leave it the way it is at the moment but if after next month, I think it wasn’t sufficient , then I’ll let you know.
Mr Ambrose: what about security? You know it broke my heart when Tatiana spoke about Mr thief the other day.
She still has memories of that robbery. My poor daughter! I want to make sure she never witnesses such horror again including Shasha. No child deserves to witness that.
Chioma: that’s what happens when you have a very intelligent child. But I think Patrick is doing a good job, we don’t need more security. And dont forget, except the Lord keeps a city, the watchmen watch in vain! God watches over us.
Mr Ambrose: Amen!! do you have any other concerns at all?
Chioma: concerns? No. But I have something to tell you. I’m not sure if it’s the best news since Shasha is only 10 months…
Mr Ambrose: are you pregnant??
Chioma: Yes, I am. I found out two days ago.
Mr Ambrose: (gives her a hug) of course it is a great news!!! That’s another blessing on the way for us! Congratulations to us!!!
Shasha will be absolutely fine. Kate being with us will make it even easier!!
I need to call my parents and tell them and then go to the village and tell your parents!
Chioma: look at you! Hahahaha! It’s not like it’s my first pregnancy! This is my third missionary journey, babe!
Mr Ambrose: the excitement is no different! I’m going to be a dad!!!
Chioma: what! You became a dad some four and a half odd years ago!
Mr Ambrose: every time seems like the first time!
Yipeeee!
Chioma: you are creating a scene. Look how everyone is looking and smiling at us.
Mr Ambrose: like I care! Oh what an evening!
Chioma: I need to gradually start weaning Shasha.
Mr Ambrose: you know it’s okay to breastfeed until you have your next one. Forget all those rubbish we were fed years ago. So don’t let that bother you.
Chioma: sweetie, remember you promised to help my old course mate by giving him a job. He has been calling and asking when he can come see you.
Mr Ambrose: Ermm, I am still reviewing a few things in that department. I’ll get back to you on that.
Chioma: thank you. He really needs the help.
Mr Ambrose: shall we just talk about us today? We can always talk about other people some other day.
Chioma: I’m sorry
Mr Ambrose: ?
**************************************************
Nina: (????) hello, Charlotte can you hear me!!
Charlotte????) hi babe! How was the date?
Nina: mtcheew! Man’s not hot! Anyway that’s not why I’m calling. Is Deric around?
Charlotte: no. Actually he’s been in the village. His mum is diabetic and her condition has deteriorated badly. He went to be with her just in case.
Nina: my own mother is dead anyway. But I wish him the best oh!
Hey listen up! Mr Ambrose and his wife were seated right behind us at Food and Fun! They were there playing happy family and I was literally burning inside!
But the good news is that she announced to him that she is pregnant! And I think Deric might be responsible. What do you think?
Charlotte: really? He probably is! Randy He-goat!
Nina: let’s tell her husband!
Charlotte: how?
Nina: I found the wife on Facebook. Her Facebook name is Chiomabeautz. Her profile picture is her wedding picture with her husband. This is what we are going to do.
I will create a fake account with her name and profile picture and you will create a fake account with Deric’s name and profile picture. Then, I’ll use that fake account to send you a message that the numerous sex we had resulted in pregnancy and you will reply me asking me to hang it on my husband.
We will now print the messages and send it to his office with the picture of them hugging!
Charlotte: how do we send it?
Nina: by post! Don’t be a dummy! Obviously we can’t go back there.
Charlotte: girl you bad! But this is a good idea! Since she wants to wreck my home, she will be paid in her own coin!
To be continued
EPISPDE 12
Caller: (????) Hello, am I on to Charlotte?
Charlotte: Yes, who’s calling?
Caller: Hello, I am Jez from Night Buzz night club.
Charlotte: oh hi!
Caller: are you free to talk?
Charlotte: Yes, I am.
Caller: well, congratulation on your new position as a pole dancer with Night Buzz!
Charlotte: did I get the job!!!!
Caller: oh Yes, you did!!!
Charlotte: yesssssss!?
Caller: are you ready for an immediate start?
Charlotte: Sure!
Caller: great! We’ve seen videos of you dancing and we think you are absolutely amazing!
we’ve got these guys coming over from France tomorrow and they have requested for an hour performance. Are you up for it?
Charlotte: what time?
Caller: the dancing kicks off at 12 midnight but you should be there at 10 to practice with our instructor and to choose a comfortable outfit for yourself. We will pay you in dollars. Sounds good?
Charlotte: how much?
Caller: 500 USD!
Charlotte: That’s too small for an hour
Caller: 5500?
Charlotte: okay, I’ll do the job.
Caller: excellent! Once again, congratulations!
Charlotte: thank you.
Caller: see you tomorrow.
Charlotte: ?????????????
************************************************
Receptionist: good morning, sir.
Mr Ambrose: morning.
Receptionist: you’ve got a letter, sir.
Mr Ambrose: who from?
Receptionist: not sure. It just says private and confidential on the envelope.
Mr Ambrose: leave it on the table. Thanks.
(Mr Ambrose put aside what he was doing, opened the envelope and began to read the letter….)
“Hello, Mr trust!
It will be unfair not to congratulate you
on the news of the baby on the way
I’m sure you must be over the moon!
But, it is unfortunate that the child
Is not yours. The child is Deric’s .
While you were out of the country,
Deric was performing your conjugal
Duties for you. What a helpful guy!
Well, that’s what you get when you
Marry a young and beautiful woman
Please find attached some Facebook
Conversations between your wife and Deric
You may also want to have a look at your
Wife’s bank transactions. Find out the
Receipent of three hundred thousand naira
Last month.
I’m sorry to have ruined your day.
Please do not send her home o!
Who knows, she might repent and become faithful.
Yours faithfully
Mrs busybody
Hahahaha”
(Mr Ambrose couldn’t believe his eyes. He read the printed messages over and over again to ensure he was awake and not dreaming. He pinched himself a couple of times as well. Then he logged into his Wife’s online banking and confirmed that his wife did in fact, send the money. Totally devastated, he picked up his mobile phone and car keys and went to his receptionist)
Mr Ambrose: Emily, if anyone comes looking for me, tell them I am not in for the rest of the week. Mr Ronald can take messages for me.
Receptionist: sir, is everything okay?
Mr Ambrose: no. Can you make anything okay?????
Receptionist: sorry, sir
Mr Ambrose: idiot!
(Mr Ambrose jumped into his car and zoomed off. He got home and rang the doorbell and Chioma opened the door for him..)
Chioma: sweetheart! What’s the matter? Why are you home this early?
Mr Ambrose: everything is fine. Out of my way!
Tatiana: daddy!!!!!!??
Mr Ambrose: Kate!
Kate: yes, sir.
Mr Ambrose: take the kids to Lots Of Ice Cream, now! I transferred ten thousand naira into your account for that.
Kate: but sir, I took them to Lots Of Ice Cream yesterday and they are only allowed to have ice cream only once a week.
Mr Ambrose: I’m sure you are aware that these kids are mine and not yours!
Kate: sorry, sir. Tatiana come on! Let’s go out. Shasha, let get you into your buggy, let’s go out.
Chioma: excuse me!!! I am not letting my children go out in shorts. They’ll be bitten by mosquitoes! Whatever you’ve got to say or do can wait for them to get properly dressed! My children come first! What madness!
Tatiana: daddy, grandma says we should not let mosquitoes eat us.
Mr Ambrose: Kate, be fast about that and take them Out!
Kate: yes sir! (Hurridly dressed the girls and left with them)
Mr Ambrose: (bangs the door behind them)
Chioma: what is the matter??? What’s wrong with you? Did you get robbed? You couldn’t even talk to your girls! I hope you will have answers for Tatiana when she starts asking.
Mr Ambrose: (audibly gnashing his teeth, biting his lips and shedding endless tears)
Chioma: hmmmm! Is mama alright?
Mr Ambrose: Chioma, I vowed to love you, to protect and to provide for you to the best of my ability. What part of the vow have I broken?
Chioma: none! None at all. If anything, you’ve done more than you promised and I am so greatful to God for giving me such a wonderful husband.
Mr Ambrose: why didn’t you tell me I wasn’t satisfying you sexually? I would have done something about it!
Chioma: what is the meaning of that? What are you talking about???
Mr Ambrose: then why did you do it???
Chioma: why did I do What??? I’m getting really impatient with this whole drama!
Mr Ambrose: Chioma, you cheated on me, got pregnant by another man and told me we are having a baby????
Chioma: is this supposed to be an expensive stupid joke????
Mr Ambrose: don’t you dare pretend one more second to me! Go in there, pack your things and leave my house before I do something silly.
Chioma: please do something silly but first explain to me what you mean! I slept with another man? When? Where?. Which man?
Mr Ambrose: you threw dust into my eyes. I believed he was nothing more than an old school mate. I believed you, Chioma because I trusted you. If I didn’t see the messages between you, I wouldn’t have believed it. You even gave him my hard earned money! Before I shut my eyes and open them, be gone with that bastard you are carrying.
Chioma: sweetheart, I can explain the money but I.. I.. i never slept with him nor any other man! I swear to God!????
Mr Ambrose: Chioma I have pictures! Leave my house now!! If you spend one more minute here, I’ll shoot you and shoot myself! Leave now!!!
Chioma: oh! Okay, I’ll…I’ll lea—ve. Please don’t shoot yourself. You can shoot me so that the kids will have someone to look after them. Please I’m leaving but promise me you won’t hurt yourself please. For the sake of our kids. Promise me, please
Mr Ambrose: ?????????
Chioma: (gives him a hug) please, promise me you’ll be fine, please?????
Mr Ambrosewith his eyes tightly shut) I’ll be fine and I’ll look after my children. Just go away from me. Go away from us!
…to be continued
THE brideGLOOM. Episode 13
Mr Adrian: good morning, Charlotte. You didn’t tell me you do pole dancing.
Charlotte:? how did you know!
Mr Adrian: my friends came into Nigeria last night and asked me to come hang out with them, but because I had a lot doing, I couldn’t make it. But they did send me some clips of your performance. I must say you are very Good!
Charlotte: those are your friends? Oh my God!
I’m so embarrassed.
Mr Adrian: come on! That’s like a second job. So long as it doesn’t affect your role here, it is perfectly okay.
I’ll give you ten out of ten. Amazing flexibility, I must say!
Charlotte: Thank you.
Mr Adrian: you know watching pole dancing is my favourite thing in the world, right?
Charlotte: really? Was that why you paid for one the day we went out?
Mr Adrian: I do that all the time. Whenever I travel to any city I spend a lot of money on that. That is the only way I unwind.
I’ll be going to Barbados next week, would you like to come with me then? I’ll pay for everything. The flight ticket, hotel, food and also pay you three hundred pound per hour of performance.
Charlotte: but I have used up all my holiday.
Mr Adrian: don’t worry, I’ll give you some hours off and you still get paid for it.
Charlotte: awwww! Thank you!
Mr Adrian: sorry, Charlotte, but I don’t like when women tell me awwww. I feel patronised. If you can, try not to use it on me. Thanks.
Charlotte: oh okay! I’m sorry
Mr Adrian: thanks. Get started with the documents, please. Thank you.
Charlotte: right away.?
(Deric is still in his village tending to his poor mother whose health has continued to deteriorate and Charlotte rarely calls to check up on him.
She had wanted to travel without telling Deric but she changed her mind and decided to tell him, so she got home, sorted out her passport and started ringing him…)
Charlotte?????)
Deric: hello, Charlotte
Charlotte: hello, how is mama today?
Deric: so this is the first time you are calling me in two weeks, right?
Charlotte: I keep trying to call but obviously the network in your village is unstable!
Deric: well, mama is not getting any better.
Charlotte: she will be fine. I’m calling to tell you you that I will be going to China next week.
Deric: you are going to China to do What?
Charlotte: my company is sending me there.
Deric: you are going to China Charlotte? Your mother in law has been critically ill for two months now, you have never bothered to come down and see her for once. You barely ask after her but you are going to China. You are not even sure that you would meet her when you come back.
This is a woman who stood by your side when you were in debt in London. She cleared your debt, came to London to see you and brought you food items that lasted you a whole year. A woman who treats you like her own…
Charlotte: oh please save me the blackmail! Do you know why I’m going to China?? I have been asked to do a training that would raise my monthly salary by eighty percent!
I only agreed to do that because of mama’s health. What she needs right now is not that pity party you and your elder brother are organising everywhere on social media!
She need good medical care abroad!
As soon as I come back from China, I’ll take mama to London to get her treated! So save me the whole bull crap! I’ve heard enough of it from you!
Deric: hmmm. But you never told me you had such plans. Anyways, thank you. I will do anything to save my mother and if I had money, we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now because she would have been in a London hospital recovering. Thanks again, Charlotte.
Charlotte: I’ve paid in some money into your account, buy her whatever she needs until I come back. Tell her I said she will be fine.
Bye(???)
*********************************************
Madam Nkechi: are you telling me the whole truth, Chioma??
Chioma: mummy, I swear by daddy’s grave. Since I married Ambrose, I’ve never had anything to do with any other man?
Why would I? I love my husband to bits, I love my children and I value my home???
I have never given it a thought.
Ambrose gives i and the kids everything we need. Everything, mama!
Madam Nkechi: so where did he get the pictures you spoke about, then?
Chioma: mama, I wish I know. I am just so confused and heartbroken. I’ve only just started to wean Shasha and she cries a lot at night. God, please vindicate me!???????
Madam Nkechi: it’s alright. Stop crying. Their nanny will take care of them. Do you have any friends in Abuja?
Chioma: no, mummy. Ambrose is the only friend I have. Whenever I tell you that I am out, it’s with him. I don’t even know anyone in our estate. The only person I speak to sometimes is Kate, my children’s nanny and she is such a wonderful young woman.
Madam Nkechi: something is not right somewhere. I and your uncle Emeka will go see Ambrose tomorrow. Stop crying let’s go into the kitchen and make something.
******************************************
Tatiana: daddy, we had too much ice cream and there is a girl that was crying and crying and crying o! I didn’t cry because I am a big girl! Shasha cry small
Mr Ambrose: Shasha cried because she is still a baby. You are a big girl and daddy is proud of you.
Tatiana: Shasha also wee wee on her pant!?
Mr Ambrose: it’s okay, when you were her age, you did same.
Tatiana: yes because I was short then
Mr Ambrose: because you were a baby
Tatiana: where is mummy. Mummy! Mummy!
Mr Ambrose: Tatiana, mummy has gone to see grandma Nkechi.
Tatiana: okay!! When is mummy going to bring a baby from the hospital? She said she will bring another baby very soon
Mr Ambrose: phewww! Mummy, you go and have your shower first, and we can talk about that later, okay?
Tatiana: But when she brings another baby, will she give Shasha back to the hospital? Otherwise there’s gonna be toooooo much babies in this house.
Mr Ambrose: Kate!
Kate: yes, sir. I’ve got Shasha in the shower! I can’t come down!
Mr Ambrose: Jesus Christ save me!
Tatiana: Jesus Christ save me!
Mr Ambrose: Mummy, go and get your story book let me read you a story
Tatiana: okay daddy!!!!!?
Mr Ambrose: no running!
To be continued
THE brideGLOOM. Episode 14
ELDER EMEKA: we have spoken to our daughter and she is still maintaining that she hasn’t slept with any other man.
As much as I understand where you are coming from, because of the pictures, the money and the messages from whatever you young people call it, I am choosing to believe our daughter.
It’s okay if you don’t want her back, we will arrange to return the bride prize. But we would like you to allow her access to her children. She is very distressed that she hasn’t seen them.
MR AMBROSE: Chioma can always come and see the kids. They are not only mine. She can take them out whenever she wants and I don’t want the bride price back.
I wish a day like this never came. We miss her, I miss her. She is my only friend?….. af–ter each tiring day, I….I come home to her. ?
But I can’t bear the sight of her carrying another man’s child’s in my own house. The thought of her in bed with another man is driving me insane????
MADAM NKECHI: it will never be well with whoever is behind this! May nemesis catch up with him or her in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening and at night!???
Two love birds torn apart just like that!
Ambrose, you are like a son to me, you have treated me like a mother and it is sad that I am being forced to choose between you and my daughter who to believe! This is a hard decision but I believe my daughter and I will look after her until she has her baby!
Greet my grand children when they come back! (Starts crying loudly???)
MR AMBROSE: (Amidst tears) mama, if you need anything, please let me know.
MADAM NKECHI: I don’t need anything from You!
************************************************
MR ADRIAN: that was a long flight!
CHARLOTTE: it was, indeed! Why is there only a single bed here? Where am I going to sleep?
MR ADRIAN: Oh! I booked you a different room. Your room is the one next door. Room number 104.
CHARLOTTE: interesting! Have you got the keys?
MR ADRIAN: sure! (Hands her the keys)
CHARLOTTE: so when would you want me to perform for You??
MR ADRIAN: Charlotte, we’ve only just arrived! Why don’t you have a shower, change and we can go have something to eat and maybe a couple of drinks.
As much as I like watching pole dancing, that’s not the main reason why I brought you here.
I noticed you are going through a lot and I wanted you to have a breather. That’s the main reason why I brought you here.
CHARLOTTE: why do you think I am going through a lot?
MR ADRIAN: it’s written all over You, Charlotte! You are clearly stressed. Try to get as much rest as possible within this one week that we are here.
CHARLOTTE: you are right! I am sex starved! My husband hasn’t touched me in the last 4 months! The last time we made love, I literally begged for it???
I don’t wanna keep being like This! I am a woman and I have needs!
MR ADRIAN: (bringing out his clothes from the box and hanging them in the wardrobe) Charlotte, you see, there is more to life than regular sex.
I agree you have such needs, but it only becomes an issues when you focus so much on it. I mean, I have been divorced for 7 years, but I’m still here.
Take your mind off sex and focus on what actually matters.
CHARLOTTE: you mean you have been celibate for 7 years?
MR ADRIAN: ermm, more or less. I’ve had a fling a couple of times but it’s one of those things you do after you’ve had so much to drink and I regretted it.
I don’t need sex. I need love and money. I’ve got them and I am dying a damn happy man!
CHARLOTTE: you’ve got love? What is love without sex?
MR ADRIAN: love is when my 18 year old daughter calls me every morning and tells me she loves me. Love is when she tells me that she is going to become a doctor so that she’ll ensure I get the best medical care when I need one.
Love is having my cigar inbetween my fingers and watching pole dancing.
Love is looking into my bank account and seeing enough dole in there
Love is a glass of red wine at the end of every day. Love is knowing I owe no man. Love is knowing that if i die today, my daughter will be wealthy even if she decides not to work in her entire!
CHARLOTTE: are you a man?
MR ADRIAN: I am a man.
CHARLOTTE: okay! Let me rephrase. Are you medically okay?
MR ADRIAN: my doctor says I am.
CHARLOTTE: okay! I don’t mean medically!
MR ADRIAN: well, you asked if I was medically okay.
CHARLOTTE: do you find me sexually attractive?
MR ADRIAN: yes. But that doesn’t mean I must have sex with you. Imagine if we had sex with every single person we find sexually attractive. It will be a crazy world. Wouldn’t it?
CHARLOTTE: But it is a crazy world already.
MR ADRIAN: maybe. Maybe not.
CHARLOTTE: do you know why I agreed to travel with a man who isn’t my husband?
MR ADRIAN: because you thought I would ask you for sex.
CHARLOTTE: yes? and I also thought I could get some money in exchange for that.
MR ADRIAN: What do you need the money for?
CHARLOTTE: ????
MR ADRIAN: it is fruitless to try to move me with tears. Tears don’t move me. Tell me what you need the money for.
CHARLOTTE: my mother in law is dying of diabetes and we need at least five million naira to take her to the UK for treatment. MY husband is unemployed and I can’t afford it.
MR ADRIAN: I’ll give it to you.
CHARLOTTE: What did you just say??
MR ADRIAN: if that makes you sleep well at night
CHARLOTTE: (kneels down?)
MR ADRIAN: go have a shower let’s go have something to eat. MY stomach is rumbling.
CHARLOTTE: God bless you.
MR ADRIAN: he can give that blessing to your husband. I am a blessed man. Thank you.
Tomorrow, I’ll like to have you perform for me for about an hour.
And don’t worry, you’ll still get your three hundred pounds an hour. Not sure how much that is in Nigerian naira.
CHARLOTTE: What time would you like me to perform Tomorrow?
MR ADRIAN: eleven thirty pm, if that’s okay by you.
CHARLOTTE: sure. Where would you like it. In their club hall?
MR ADRIAN: NO of course that would be me giving them a free service. I paid for it privately. I would like it here in my room
CHARLOTTE: no problems at all. I’ll go to my room now.
MR ADRIAN: I’ll be waiting. Remember, I am hungry.
CHARLOTTE: I know.
To be continued…
THE BrideGLOOM. Episode 15
MADAM NKECHI: where are you getting ready to go?
CHIOMA: I want to go see my children, mama.
MADAM NKECHI: why are you squeezing your face like That? Are you in pains?
CHIOMA: just a little headache.
MADAM NKECHI: I didn’t know you were going to see them today. I had planned to take you to our local health centre to register you for ante-natal.
CHIOMA: tomorrow we can go. I couldn’t sleep last night?. I miss my children.
MADAM NKECHI: I understand, my daughter. Let me get you some paracetamol.
CHIOMA: thanks, mama. Where do I get okada that would take me to town and how much do they charge? I can’t remember the last time I used that mode of transportation. I’m so scared?
MADAM NKECHI: I will call the boy that takes me to the market . He is a very careful okada rider and he will drop you exactly where you will get a bus that stops in front of your husband’s house. It will cost you one thousand five hundred thro and fro.
CHIOMA: oh really? And I only have five hundred naira.
MADAM NKECHI: not to worry. I’ll give you some money so that you can also buy the kids some biscuits. No good going to see them empty handed.
CHIOMA: thank You, mama.
MADAM NKECHI: does Ambrose know that you are coming today?
CHIOMA: Yes, mama. I sent him a text and he said it’s okay.
MADAM NKECHI: of course it’s Okay! Here is three thousand naira, manage it and please make sure those children don’t see you crying. Just be their usual mummy and don’t tell them anything bad about their dad
CHIOMA: I’ll do no such thing. I can’t even get myself to speak ill of Ambrose. He is a good man and I won’t deny it. The way he spoke to me this morning as if everything is fine between us?
I’m just tired of it all. I am!?
MADAM NKECHI: if you continue to cry, that headache is only going to get worse. You must help yourself. I know it’s hard but learn how to cope. I’ll be here for you all the way! I am your mother and my duty of care and love towards you, is a continuing one!
(Prior to the issues between Chioma and Ambrose, Chioma had seen some traditional men’s outfit in a catalogue and asked Patrick if his brother who is a designer could make it for Ambrose as a surprise present.
Patrick told her his brother could make it and Chioma gave her the sum of thirty thousand to buy the fabric and promised to give him the rest on completion.
The outfit has now been completed and Patrick has been asking Ambrose of Chioma. Each time he asks, Ambrose would tell him that Chioma had gone to spend some time with her mother…)
CHIOMA: (knocks on the gate)
PATRICK: who be That!
CHIOMA: it’s me, Patrick
PATRICK: Madam? Madam!!! Madam don come back! Oga! Madam don come back! (Runs to the gate and jumped on her)?️?️?️?️?️
CHIOMA: hahaha! Don’t pull me down, You! I’ve only been away for 3 weeks! You are acting as if I’ve been away for years. How are you, Patrick.!
PATRICK: Madam, welcome o! I happy say you don come back. I don miss you well Well! Na only you dey come out come talk to me every day. That nanny na to dey watch TV she sabi. She no dey talk to anybody and she no dey give me food as you dey do.
I know say I suppose dey buy my own food but you be good woman!
CHIOMA: no worry, I go scold am! She suppose dey give you food.
PATRICK: Chai! Madam I don miss you well Well! Where your bag? And how your mama dey? Oga tell me say she nor well na him make you go dey look after her.
CHIOMA: Yes, she don dey get better but I’m not back yet. I’m just here to see the kids briefly and go back. But I’ll be back soon.
PATRICK: Chai! Madam why not bring your mama here dey look after am the way you been dey do before? I nor like say you no dey for this house! This house nor dey sweet without you. And that thing don ready o!
CHIOMA: awwww! I understand. I’ll be back soon. Tell your brother say make him give me some time and I’ll give you the balance Okay?
PATRICK: Madam, I fit pay and when you come back you pay me back.
CHIOMA: keep your money, dear Patrick
(Chioma got to the door and knocked and Kate opened the door and jumped on her)
KATE: Tatiana! Mummy is here! Good to see you again madam!
CHIOMA: thanks darling. May I come in?
KATE: haba, Madam!!! How can you ask if you could come into your own house!
CHIOMA: thank you, darling.
(Chioma went inside and Mr Ambrose was seated in the sitting room in his pyjamas)
MR AMBROSE: good morning, Chy. How are you?
CHIOMA: I’m fine thanks. You?
MR AMBROSE: yea, I’m good.
CHIOMA: Is it okay to go upstairs and help Kate get the kids ready? I’m taking them out.
MR AMBROSE: of course it is. Why don’t you eat some breakfast first?
CHIOMA: no, I’m good thanks.
(The kids were really excited to see their mum and as usual, Tatiana asked her a million questions in a second, including why she wasn’t wearing any makeup and why she hasn’t brought the baby she promised to bring soon.
After the exhausting session, they all came downstairs and ready to leave, including Kate)
MR AMBROSE: the driver is waiting outside
CHIOMA: oh! You shouldn’t have bothered. We would have gone by public transport
MR AMBROSE: you already know my policy on that. My kids don’t go on public transport. Kate please take the kids to the car. Chioma, can I have a minute with you.
TATIANA: daddy, why do you always like to talk to mummy in private. Every time, Tatiana I need to talk to mummy in private!
MR AMBROSE: because she is my wife.
TATIANA: Okay, daddy.
(Kate went to the car with the kids, leaving just Ambrose and Chioma in the living room)
MR AMBROSE: sit down, please
CHIOMA: (sits down without saying a word)
MR AMBROSE: it’s never be the same without you here. I want you to know that I miss you, the children miss you. I don’t sleep at night, I barely eat. I live my life daily answering Tatiana’s endless questions.
Please give me some time to reconcile with the demons in my head. Will You?
CHIOMA: (amidst tears) can I go now?
MR AMBROSE: one more thing. I’ve replaced the three hundred thousand in your account. Altogether, there is 1.5 million naira in it right now. Here is the card, please take it so you could be taking care of yourself while we work on resolving this.
CHIOMA: thanks, but I don’t need it. My mum is looking after me.?
MR AMBROSE: come on, Chy!!!
CHIOMA: sorry but I have to leave now (Walks out)
(Chioma took the kids to Lots Of Ice Cream. After they’ve had some ice cream, they paid for rides for the kids. As they enjoyed their rides and screamed on top of their voice, Kate noticed how hard Chioma was trying to fight her tears and decided to ask questions)
KATE: Madam, I’m really sorry to ask this question but I can’t help it. Is everything alright between you and oga?
CHIOMA: Kate, everything is not alright at the moment but It will be????
KATE: stop crying, Madam please.
CHIOMA: that’s true. The kids must not see me crying . Does Shasha cry at night?
KATE: a lot. They both sleep with their dad now
CHIOMA: my poor kids. Oh do they?
KATE: Yes. The first night, Shasha Cried from 11pm until morning and oga tied her on his back walking up and down the stairs singing to her. The next morning he took them both to his office and Tatiana saw a bundle of money, seven hundred thousand naira and before her dad could notice what she was doing, she had shredded up to five hundred thousand of it.
He came back looking so depressed.
It hasn’t been easy on him. The other day I met him in the kitchen crying like a baby.
CHIOMA: Kate, my husband is accusing me of sleeping with another man and getting pregnant by him.
KATE: no way!!! What??? But oga trusts you so much! Satan is truly at work but he will never succeed! I will be praying for You, Madam (Starts crying)
CHIOMA: stop crying, Kate. The kids must not know about it. Under any circumstances!
(The kids enjoyed themselves and it was time to go home, Chioma put them in the car and as she was about to get into the car herself, Kate called her apart)
KATE: madam, please take this twenty thousand naira
CHIOMA: oh come on, Kate! Keep your money. And please whenever you cook, take some to Patrick Okay?
KATE: if you don’t take this money from me, as soon as I get to that house, I will pack my things and leave?. I’ll be giving Patrick lunch henceforth.
CHIOMA: (sighs and takes the money) Thanks, darling. Please look after them and never ever leave them. You are their second mum
KATE: I promise.
(Chioma managed to convince the kids that she needs to go look after poorly grandma Nkechi. After yet another questioning session from Tatiana, she agreed to let her go without them.
She got off the car half way and caught a bus back to her mother’s house)
To be continued.