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REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) by Fatimah Tahir Abdullahi
#1
REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) Episode 11

With mama by my side i have never been sad,not even for a day,not even when  bamu da cin yau ko na gobe,i always find comfort in my mother,but over the passed few days,all i can think about is yaya Abdul.I wonder how he is doing.I wish i didnt treat him the way i did....
"Khadija wai tunani me kike"....Mama said...."bakomai"....i replied with a fake smile....."You have never lied to me,but today you have,and you have a good reason i suppose"....Mama said....."Mama na rasa meke mun dadi ,kawai i just seem sad for no reason"....i lied....."i know you are sad,and you know i know why you are sad".....Mama said with a stare....."Khadija i know not the exact reason why you are sad,but i know it has something to do with Hajiyan Abuja's son ,i dont know what he told you or what his reason was for coming here,but i know his visit has left sadness in you".....Mama said............"gaskiya ne mamana,and i wish i could tell you why and what he came for,but i cant".....i said to mama sincere because i honestly cant tell her how i feel about yaya Abdul......"Khadija do you know what every wise mother does"......Mama asked......"No mama i dont,but i know every wise mother does what you do"....Khadija said with a sad smile.....
"Khadija every wise mother treats her teenager daughter not only as a daughter but as a friend.Khadija duniya ta lallace,if a mother doesnt treat her daughter as a friend,the daughter will never be able to confide in the mother,rather,she will confide in friends who might give her wrong advice and mislead her".....Mama said....."Hakane mama,but you know i dont have any friends,all the people a unguwan nan treat me different and i dont know why".....Khadija said....."Dama people are like that,amma once kikai aure kika bar unguwar bashi kenan bah".....Mama said beating about the bush,a sign that i said something she's trying to cover up....."Mama Abdul came here da maganar aure and  ni told him gaskiya we are from different sides of the world.He's from the rich side and i  from the poor side,kuma yan gidan su basu sona".....I said to mama with tears in my eyes...."Khadija in mijin kine,komai yan uwan shi sukae they wont be able to stop it,and money is not a factor in marriage,love,respect and understanding are the factors that build a strong bond between two people in a scared matrimony for all eternity"...mama said wisely....."toh mama what do you think i should do,i already threw him off when he came here"....i said with wide teary eyes....."Pray Khadija,in mijin ki ne he ll come back to you,but if he is not then Allah zae kawo miki daidai ke,just pray.No one can change his destiny or run away from it.".....Mama said and lifted the buta off the ground and headed for our pit toilet.
I cant help but wonder if yaya Abdul has gotten over me because of the things of i said to him.I wish there's a way for me to see him,or atleast talk to him.I dont have his number or that of any one a gidan.I just have to pray and rely on fate.I pray God brings yaya Abdul back to me,or a way to forget him if things can work out between us.

REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) Episode 12

Abdul has restricted himself to his room all day and all night,not speaking to anyone except when necessary,Hajiya has been getting more and more concerned by the day,and decided its high time she spoke to her son,she has no idea what exactly to say or do,but she knows she has to do something......"Abdul".....Hajiya said pushing the door slightly and entering Abdul's room....."Naam Umma"....he replied sitting up on his bed..."Abdul komai na duniya me wuce wa ne,i only want what is best for you.You always have to believe that what is meant to be will always be.If you two are destined for eachother,then nothing i do will stop it,and if you both are not destined for eachother then nothing you or your father do will ever make things work"....Hajiya said sitting beside her son....."Hakane Umma,i have been thinking about it myself,i have been praying about it and i guess the best i can do is hope things work out for the best".....Abdul said sincerely......"Yauwa Abdul,Allah yayi albarka".....Hajiya said....."Ameen ameen".....Abdul replied with a smile,the first in weeks........"I have bad news".....Umma said....."Meya faru umma"....Abdul asked terrified......"Uncle dinku ya dawo daga India".....Hajiya said with a sad face...."Umma in uncle Umar ya dawo ai ba bad news bane koh".....Abdul said....."Yes,amma abunda yaje nema be samu bah".....Hajiya said....."Umma i know Uncle Ibrahim went to India but i never understood why and i never asked".....Abdul said....."Abdul your uncle and his wife have been married for 16years now and har yau Allah bai basu haihuwa bah,so your father and i adviced that they for medical  check up,they went to Egypt with no success and last week suka tafi india,and still no success".....Umma said sadly....."Allah sarki,toh what seems to be the problem umma?".....Abdul asked....."The problem is that your uncle has fertility problems,he cant get any woman pregnant easily and its not every woman that can be impregnanted by him and his wife Laura has not be able to keep the baby in her womb even though they tried a test tube baby,without success".....Umma said....."Allah sarki,wallahi i feel bad for him,i wish there's something i can do for him,anything umma.Uncle Ibrahim is the best uncle any nephew can ever have,Abba is lucky to have such an obedient little brother".....Abdul said.....

"Wallahi,Abdul sometimes you cannot understand because you were very young when those things happened".....Umma said with said eyes...."Did anything happen that i should know of?".....Abdul asked with his eyes fixed on his mother's face......"Abdul,everything your father is and everything your father has,he owes it to Ibrahim."......Umma said looking at Abdul....."How?I know Abba is into politics and has assets everywhere because their father,my grandfather was very rich ya bar musu dukiya".....Abdul said looking rather confused......"You are right,your grandfather was rich,very very and when he died his wealth was shared among his two sons,your father and Ibrahim,you father was into business then and used all his assets and money into buyig a ship,because the shipping business fetches so much,your father's ship met an accident and sank,and your father had nothing.All his wealth was gone,every penny".....Umma said almost at the point of tears...."How come i never knew this ".....Abdul said so scared and disturbed....."You were only only 11 years.Ibrahim out of love and kindness for his big brother brought his own portion of the inheritance and set up a joint business for himself and your father and together they have grown and succeded graciously.Ibrahim was there for us when we had nothing.We owe him everything".....Umma said with a flicker of smile....."Umma,uncle cant have a child of his own,but i promise him a child"....Abdul said with so much seriousness....."but how?"......Umma wondered......."Umma in Allah ya yadda i ll get married as soon as i can,and i promise i ll give Uncle my first child to raise as his own".....Abdul said...."Thats really kind of you,but your uncle is not getting any younger".....Umma said....."Yes,and that is why i ll get married a cikin this year in shaa Allah".....Abdul said....."You dont even have a girl friend and this is August,this year is almost over,just 4months left".....Umma said....."I know,but for Uncle i ll do anything".....Abdul said..."I wouldnt have been more proud,Allah ya zaba maka mace ta gari".....Umma said and left the room.
"i know its hard,it is the hardest thing i have to do,but i have to forget Khadija and move on with my life.Uncle is more important to me than any thing i may feel for her.I dont have a choice anymore,.....Just not anymore".....Abdul said to himself.

REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) Episode 13

Life has not been easy for my mother and i since i got back from Abuja.The little money i was able to save from my salary has been fast dwindling.We depend on that money for our daily survival and very little is left of it,and mama has still not been able to get a job....."Khadija"....mama said cutting me off my thoughts...."Naam mama"...i replied looking worried after seeing the anguish in mama's eyes...."Khadija i know life has not been easy for us,especially for you,and no one has been able to help us"......mama said....."Hakane mama,amma we dont have a choice,we just have to endure,bamu da yadda zamuyi"......i said looking at mama pitifully......"Munada yadda zamu khadija.i have been thinking alot,but now i know what i must do".....Mama said....."me kenan mama".....i asked......"Khadija i have never told you this,but we are not from Dutse,baki ga bani da kowa a garin nan ba"....Mama said...."I have noticed mama,i never asked because i dont need wasu dangi,you are all i have and you are all i need.".....I said to mama sincerely......"Nasani Khadija,i am not from here,i am from somewhere far from here,i had to leave home and my family due to circumstances,but i think it's high time i returned home,i cant keep watching you suffer.I have done all i can to get a job to be able to give you a better life but its just not working out.I have decided,gobe zamu tafi Mambila da safe"....mama said........."Allah ya kaimu mamana ,kuma Allah yasa hakan ne mafi alkhairi"....I said with a smile and watched as mama sigh with satisfaction.

TWO WEEKS LATER.
******************************
Abdul has been bothered about what his mother told him about uncle Ibrahim,his confusion has been his feelings for Khadija and his desire to help his uncle,but he has no choice but to believe in fate and destiny.


"Yaya kazo inji Umma".....Ruqayya said and left the room.......
"Umma"....Abdul said upon entering his mother....."Abdul"....umma said with a light face...."Naam umma".....Abdul replied....."What will you be doing gobe?"....Umma asked....."Nothing really,i have a meeting with board of governors din company din Abba ,but i should be done with it by 10am,after that i dont have anything more.".....Abdul said......."Masha Allah,i need you to book the 12pm flight to and from Adamawa for me,your father and yourself.".....Umma said......."Adamawa kuma umma".....Abdul replied looking rather confused...."Eh,your father and I have decided we cant seat around and do nothing about case din your uncle Ibrahim"....Umma said....."I still dont understand why we are going to Adamawa".....Abdul said still looking confused....."Abdul we have tried komai na asibiti and nothing is working,your father heard about wani bawan Allah called Mallam Sani.Allah ya bashi iko da dama wurin curing incurable diseases irin na uncle dinku,so we are flying to Adamawa tomorrow"....Hajiya said....."toh umma Allah ya nuna mana.but why isnt Uncle going with us".....Abdul said still looking confused......"Your uncle mustn't know.We dont know for sure if this mallam can help,we dont want to raise your uncle's hopes up yet.We have to talk to Mallamin muji if he can help"....Umma said....."Your are right Umma,Allah ya kaemu goben."....Abdul said and left to his room to prepare for the trip.

REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) Episode 14

Abdul woke up as early as possible to prepare for his meeting with the board of governors at his father's company when Hajiya came into his room...."Umma ina kwana"....Abdul said squating down to greet his mum....."Lafiya Abdul,the meeting has been postponed,Your father said i should let you know"....umma said....."Umma but why"......Abdul asked looking confused...."Laura just called ,your uncle has a fever and wont make it to the meeting,and kuma kaga the meeting cant hold without your father or Ibrahim,your are not capable enough yet to handle the company affairs on your own,tunda kaga your father wont be around either".....Umma said....."Gaskiya ,shikenan in muka dawo daga Adamawa we ll fix another date for the meeting"....Abdul said thoughtfully....."Yes,and about that, cancel your ticket,your father and i can handle Adamawa,tunda your uncle isnt feeling well you should stay behind and handle the company's work and incase your uncle needs you"....Hajiya said....."tohm Umma,get ready sai in kaiku airport"....Abdul said and watched his mother leave the room and Jidda coming in......."Jidda ya akae?"...Abdul said as soon as Jidda entered....."yaya how is the search coming,any fruitful result yet?".....Jidda said with wide eyes...."What search are you referring to?".....Abdul asked looking at Jidda with questionable eyes....."the search for mata mana".....Jidda said with a smile...."Allah ya bani sister who doesnt mind her business".....Abdul said jokingly and with a smile....."Hahaha,you know you love that quality of mine,anyways i have fine friends and you know it"....Jidda said....."Hahaha,naji.i know all your friends and non of them is my type"....Abdul said with a gesture....."hmmm yaya Abdul karkayi kwantai fah garin ruwan ido"....Jidda said....."ni din,kar ki damu i wont.i ll know my type when i see her".....Abdul said laughing...."ok oh,naji im off to school nidai"....Jidda said and left the room......

"Khadija,Khadija is my type and will always be.".....Abdul said to himself with a sad tone.

******************************
ADAMAWA
Locating Mallam sani's house wasnt hard for Abdul's parents.Mallam sani is well known a unguwar so it was as easy as breathing locating his house.


When they arrived at the house they were welcomed to wait in his waiting room where visitors are usually asked to wait,but it didnt take Mallam Sani so long to come out of his chambers because he was told it was Honourable Ya'u and people ,especially those in northern part of the country respect him because of his wealth,kindness and down to earth nature....."Sallamu alaikum"....Mallam Sani said upon entering the room....."Waalaika sallam"....Abdul's parents replied...."Mallam barka da asuba"....Abdul's father said...."Yauwa barka mu dai,ya hanya?".....Mallam asked..."alhamdulillah mallam ya fama da jamaa"....Abdul's father said while Hajiya was quiet all the time with her eyes fixed to the carpet....."Jamaa Alhamdulillah"....Mallam replied...."Honourable meke tafe daku"....Mallam asked...."Toh mallam i have a brother  who has not been able to father a child and its been 16 years since he got married to his wife,they have tried na asibiti amma no success,shine muka zo mallam koh zaa iya taimaka mana cikin ikon Allah"....Abdul's father said...."Masha Allah.Allah mai iko,wato Honourable things like this happen,we see things like this everyday,amma da yarda Allah zai samu waraka,zaayi rubutu and kuma zaa sauka da saura su,kuma ku dage da rokon Allah,in shaa Allah everything will be alright".....Mallam said...."Alhamdullullah"....Abdul's parents said...."Allah yasa a dace".....Mallam replied...."toh yanzu mallam what do we do?"......Abdul's father asked......"yanzu zaayi rubutu you will go with it,zamu sa ayi sauka and istikhara ,then sai mu jira ikon Allah".....Mallam said...."toh Mallam thank you so so much".....Abdul's father said and pushed forward wrappers of money."ga wannan Mallam an bawa Almajirai"....."Madallah,Allah ya karba.Let me go in in sa ayi rubutu,i have other people to attend to,zan turo da rubutun but you have to come back in three days so that kuji sakamakon istikhar da zaayi".....Mallam said and bid them farewell and left...."Madallah mallam,Allah ya saka da alkhairi.".....Abdul's parents said.
Abdul's parents sat in the car outside Mallam Sani's house and waited for the rubutu.While they waited they talked about Mallam sani and praised him and talked about how he is just interested in helping people and not the money....Abdul's father got a little distracted when he saw a familiar face...."I dont know why amma that woman approaching her face looks so familiar"....Abdul's dad said......"Hmmm hmm"....Hajiya replied with a jealous expression...."hahah Hajiya kenan,wallahi kamar tayi yawa ne".....Alhaji replied...."hahaha Alhaji kenan zaulayar ka kawai nake,may be its the person you know"....Hajiya replied..
Alhaji put on his glasses to have a closer look and was certain it is who he thought it is...."Hajiya fito fito"....he said to Hajiya and she got out of the car...."Habiba"....Alhaji said and the woman turned...."Subhannallah,wa nake gani kamar yaya"....the woman replied and Hajiya just stood there shocked and has no idea what is going on or who the woman is.


REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) Episode 15

Abdul's parents left for Adamawa filled with wishes and hope that they find what they  went looking for and as God will have It they found more than what they were looking for."Umma ya naga you stayed for a day more.we Expected you to return jiya ,we were and all worried, your phones were off"....Abdul said breathlessly due to the race he had running down the stairs when he heard his parents were back....."Wallahi we had to spend the night because we got caught up in something and before we could finish it was late and we couldnt get to the airport on time to catch the evening flight and we didnt take our charges along so we couldnt charge".....before Abdul could open his mouth to say what he intended to say jidda screamed..."What the hell is she doing here,ke baki da zuciya,why in the name of stupidity are you here"....jidda said...Abdul didnt turn and was confused on who or what Jidda was talking about......"Jidda what is wrong with you?"....Abdul said staring at Jidda....."Nothing is wrong with me,but i seriously think something is really wrong with this idiot,why is she here".....Jidda said pointing to the door and Abdul turned back to see who Jidda is talking about....."Jidda meyasa ba kiji?How many times do i have to tell you to stop using such words?Nida Abban ki mun dawo ba sannu da zuwa ba komai kin sakko kina zagezage."....Umma Said.

Abdul had no idea who they were talking about and turned to look at the door.Abdul got the biggest shock of his life when he saw Khadija standing at the door,for a minute he thought he was seeing a ghost or may be an element of his imagination......"Khadija shigo,come my dear come on in"....umma said and my head became like a cloud,no thoughts,sai confusion....."Umma what is going on"....Ruqayya asked looking confused..."Its a long story,but first Abdul go and pick your uncle and Laura and bring them here,tell them its urgent"....Abba said.

Abdul left the house confused and couldnt wrap his head around what was going on.His uncle's house is just 5minutes drive from their house and Abdul got back in no time.

"Yaya meke faruwa,Abdul came to pick Laura and I up and didnt say what a word,what is going on".....Uncle said looking worried and confused......"Ibrahim,nida Hajiya went to Adamawa yesterday without your knowledge"....Abba said with a long face....."Adamawa kuma yaya,what for?".....Uncle asked looking rather confused......"We heard about wani bawan Allah Mallam Sani,Allah yana bashi nasara wurin curing incurable diseases ,so we went to him with your  case".......Abba said to Uncle....."Yaya nagode,but i gave up on ever becoming a father to anyone.Yaya i never told you this but na dade ina yawon mallamai with no success at all,har nayi giving up".....Uncle said with a sad face......"Yaya an dace ne?".....uncle's wife Laura asked......"Toh i wont say baa dace bah,but we uncovered a misery non of us knew existed".....Abba said.......

"yaya me kenan?".....Uncle asked......"Ibrahim,in baka manta bah,when you were a corper,you were posted to Taraba state,a town called mambilla,koh ba haka bah"....Abba said and uncle Ibrahim nodded agreeing with Abba......"in baka manta ba while you were there you met a young Lady there and you told me zaka aure ta and together with our uncles muka je muka neman auren ta and soon you got married"....Abba said....."Yaya i remember all that but what has that got to do with zuwan ku Adamawa".....uncle Asked.Everyone sitting in the parlor is looking confused.Abdul couldnt stop staring at me,Jidda wore a straight face and Ruqayya was looking at her father's face.....

"Ibrahim what happened to Habiba?After your youth service you came back alone instead of with Habiba"....Abba said...."yes,hakane yaya.I came back alone,i intended to go back to Taraba na dauko Habiba but then i met Laura again.Laura was my girlfriend then for five years yaya.And when we got back together after i came back to Abuja i decided to marry her and yaya kasan bani da raayin mata biyu and i loved Laura more so i decided its better in sawake wah Habiba and i sent her a divorce letter through wani dan garinsu who i met here in Abuja".....Uncle said......"Islamically Habiba bata saku bah".....Abba said looking angry now...."Yaya how,i dont understand"....Uncle said...."yes bata saku ba because Habiba never got your divorce letter".....Abba said looking so angry now....."How could you do that,how could you divorce a woman who was devoted to you,and kuma sakin ma through a letter which you sent through someone".....Abba said shouting at the top of his voice,sounding very angry...."Yaya i never knew she never got my letter,and i admit it was wrong of me but i couldnt face Habiba ince mata na sake ta,i just couldnt".....Uncle said......

"i dont understand why we are discussing this in front of a stranger,this stupid girl at that"....Jidda said pissed off at me...."Jidda shut your mouth before ranki ya bacci"...Abba said almost with fire in his eyes......."Ibrahim ka bani kunya"....Abba added with so much anger in his voice...."Yaya i'm sorry but why are we bringing this up now,lets leave it in the past".....Uncle pleaded with Abba....."I cant leave it in the past because Ka cuci Habiba,ka cuci yar da ta haifa"....Abba said with so much spite for his little brother....."The daughter she gave birth to?"....Uncle said sounding extremely surprised....."You never knew Habiba was pregnant?"....Umma asked sounding confused...."Habiba was pregnant????"....Uncle said looking surprised and confused...."Innalillahi,yaya how did you know?Where can i find Habiba now?Yaya wallahi i regret everything dan Allah answer me,i have been looking for a child all along ,i never knew i abandoned one "....Uncle said shedding tears of Regrets.....
"Habiba is so mad at you because ka cuce ta,ka cuci yar data haifa,Habiba doesnt want to see you or hear of you,but thanks to her father Mallam Sani,we were able to convince her to let us come back with your daughter Khadija".....Abba said and everyone looked at me.I  just sat on the floor crying uncontrollably.

REGRETS -(KA CUCE NI) Episode 16
              Final Episode

My mind was clouded with so much emotion ,my eyes couldnt keep dry.All i can think about is the expression on mama's face when Abdul's father found out my mum gave birth to me after my father and mother separated.

Mama grew up in Adamawa but later moved to Taraba with her Aunty whom she was fond of.Mama completed her studies and got a diploma in Taraba.She met my father shortly after her diploma and her intention of going further for a degree died when she fell in love with my father and they got married.Five months after my parents' wedding,my father left my mother as i heard and mama had to leave Taraba because of the stigma and too much surutu that daga aure har ta zama bazawara.Mama left Taraba and moved to Dutse because her best friend with whom she grew up with in Adamawa Hajiya Ma'u lives there.Nobody in Dutse knew my mother and she was young then ,25 and pregnant,so everyone assumed abun kunya tayi a garinsu ta gudo Dutse.

I couldnt help but notice the expression on Abdul's face.He was as happy as he was shocked.Jidda was shaken with rage.I couldnt  bring myself to look at my so called father.I just couldnt.
        
My so called father was shocked as the news broke.He could hadly control his tears and kept on saying "i regret what i did to Habiba,i wish i could change things but whatever i do at this moment ,it wont change the fact that na cuce ta.Na cuci Habiba,na cuci Khadija.she grew up in poverty,she grew up without a father and worse of all,she grew up being taken for a bastard child".....My so called father kept lamenting.


******************************
TWO DAYS LATER


"Hajiya dan Allah i want to go back to Adamawa to my mother".....i said to Abdul's mum....."Khadija,please call me umma,i am like a mother to you"....umma said...."And why do you want to go back to Adamawa?arent you happy here?".....Umma said sounding concerned...."i am umma,i really am,but i miss my mother and i want to be with her now that she needs me the most.i need to be there for her now that she is going through alot.".....I said with my gaze to the ground...."Umma she is right,if i were in her shoes i would want to be with you.Khadija is like a sister to me and i feel her pain,and i wish i can change what happened and what i did to you,but i cant.I can only wish that you forgive me and uncle Ibrahim and allow us to help you feel free with us,we are your family.".....Jidda said holding my hand....."umma what is uncle Ibrahim doing,shouldnt he be in Adamawa trying to bring Khadija's mum here?"....Ruqayya asked looking at her mum....."Wallahi he tried,he went to Adamawa same day we told him of Khadija,but Habiba wont even listen to him and banga lefinta ba.Ya cuce ta.17years.For 17years she was left to cater for Khadija all on her own.Your father has gone back with him this morning and hopefully things will turn out right"....umma said.

***********-*****************
Abdul has not been so much himself since all this started happening.He is always with me and treats me like a queen always asking me if i am ok,although its sweet of him but it makes me feel like i am fragile,and i am not..


Hours later ,Abdul's father came back with my father and mother and i am happy my family has been re-united.Abdul was the happiest of them all.I never knew Jidda could be this sweet.

TWO MONTHS LATER.
Its been two months since my family has been reunited.My love for Abdul grew more and more as he was always eager to please my mother.I got admitted into Nile University and will be starting the next session..

Yaya Abdul and i continued our relationship and our parents approved.Yaya Abdul and i decided we will get married a day or two after my graduation from the university.My life is not a bed of roses,but i am 100% sure with yaya Abdul i ll have a happy ending.
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